lolsofunny:

so there was this girl in my class who showed up to class everyday with her thong sticking out and one day my teacher just walked up to her and said ‘let’s keep victoria a secret’ he got fired but it was still funny

grimelords:

siri please try harder

peecest:

killing people and absorbing their photoshop powers

watermel0n-smile:

he just accepts it, not even surprised by it. must happen all the time
tyrabankruptcy:

Sleep tight, hunty.
thatfunnyblog:

must be a really slow news day..

unclefather:

gf: Come over

me: i can’t i’m skiing

gf: I have dog treats

me: image

snapchatting:

congratulations u won American Idol here is your pat on the back

itll:

how does wikipedia know the height of every celebrity